Fear of Falling by S.L. Jennings

FoF SL Jennings Blog Tour Cover

~Rosie’s 5 Origami Star Thoughts~

Before I begin my review there are a few things I would like to say.  I have been reading my whole life.  Thousands of books over 41 years.  I VERY rarely give a book 5 stars.  This is a book that DESERVES 5 stars.  This book was a harsh read.  It made me look at things that are painful, but real life can sometimes be very painful. For some more than others. These very painful moments are the ones that magnify the beauty that we experience in life.  These beautiful moments are the ones that give us hope, and help us weather the pain we feel inside.  When you meet people in life you never know what they carry inside of them.  The sufferings that don’t leave scars on the body to see, can sometimes be most horrific.  So the next time you come across someone that you don’t feel like smiling at, smile anyway, because you never know what burdens and sufferings people carry inside.
Funny thing about life is that it never turns out the way you want it to.  It’s never fair.  It’s harsh and brutal.  It kicks you when you’re down.  It makes you wish you could give up and part with it just to have a semblance of peace. – Fear of Falling
Kami had many secrets.  One thing that wasn’t a secret was that she thought she was unlovable.  Sometimes in life it’s not possible to find love from family.  Those were the cards that Kami was dealt.  She had an unspeakable childhood filled with many types of abuse.  She had no one to protect her from the monsters she battled each and every day.  Because of these terrors she faced she had many fears.  Two hundred and fifty three to be exact.
In college Kami met the two people that would become her “real” family.  See family is not always the people that have the same blood running through their veins.  Dom is a notorious playboy that has had a childhood also filled with unspeakable suffering. Angel has been abandoned by her family because she is a lesbian and they are embarrassed of her life choices. They are both an amazing support to Kami, they have a love that is difficult to comprehend.  A love forged from the likeness that they were all abandoned by the people that were supposed to love them unconditionally and most in this world.
“Saying it out loud doesn’t bring it to life.  It doesn’t power the fear.  It takes it away.  It shows that you are in control.”  – Dom Fear of Falling
If anyone says anything, I’ll kick them in the nuts.  I tried to twist my frown into a grin.  “And what if it’s a girl?” “I’ll cunt punt the bitch,” She deadpanned.  I love the awesomeness that was Angel Cassidy
Love it was the thing that bound us and tore us apart.  It was our disease and the remedy of our shattered hearts.
Kami and Angel met at a bar called Dive to have some drinks.  It was a really rough day and Kami was fighting back tears.  They wound up meeting an obnoxious (and freakin hilarious) guy named CJ and his gorgeous cousin Blaine (the bartender).  I am not joking, I was laughing out loud at some of the things that came out of CJs mouth.  I also need to find a bar that has a bartender that looks like Blaine! He was gorgeous with messy sexy brown hair and beautiful eyes. He had the kind of hair that made you want to run your hands through it. He was tattooed and strong, but the thing that Kami couldn’t take her eyes off was the sexy way he rolled his tongue piercing in his mouth.  Blaine and Kami felt instant chemistry.
I already knew Kami was special.  I knew she was unlike anyone I had ever met since the day she came into Dive, blinking away tears and in search of escape.  I knew she was running then.  And thankfully, she had run straight to me.  I was hell-bent on making it so she never felt the need to run again. – Fear of Falling
He had the eyes of a man that had seen things.  Eyes that were soulful and wise, yet vibrant and sultry.  Eyes that made me want to run away, yet urged me to stay. – Fear of Falling
Kami got a job at the bar as a bartender.  She was beginning to spend a lot of time with Blaine.  She was so attracted to him, but wouldn’t allow herself to show any interest.  She couldn’t get past the fact that she refused to let herself feel anything even close to love for someone.  To love someone was a risk.  One Kami didn’t want to take.
“I’m afraid because, whenever he’s around, I’m not scared anymore.  I feel …safe.  Like being near him is the most natural thing in the world. This…you and me….it’s inevitable. ”   
“There’s no use in fighting, Kami.  It’s going to happen.  And when you are madly in love with me, the only thing you will regret is not falling sooner.”
“You are so beautiful Kami and so strong.  If only you knew how amazing you are….I’ll make you see it.  I’ll make you feel it.”
Trying not to fall for Blaine was like holding back a tidal wave.  He was so amazing to her and had so much patience and understanding.  His feelings were becoming very strong for her.  Could she let herself fall?
Blaine was the only man that existed in my world, and at that very moment, I couldn’t be entirely sure that he wasn’t the world itself.- Fear of Falling
For the first time in 23 years, I felt something.  Something other than trepidation when a man touched me.  Something so much more than the emptiness that filled my chest when I thought about the normal, happy life that I would never have.  Blaine was my more. – Fear of Falling
Blaine knew him and Kami were meant to be.  He just had to figure out how to help her let go of her fears.
“I’ve got you.  I’ll always catch you when you fall.”
This girl had gotten to me.  She was making herself as permanent as the ink already embedded in my skin.  Kami had branded me with those tears. – Fear of Falling
You don’t have to be afraid of falling.  Just close your eyes, let go, and know that I’ll always be here with arms outstretched, ready to catch you. – Fear of Falling
Just when Kami begins to let herself fall for Blaine, a past monster makes an appearance.  Can Kami ever recover from her new wounds?  Can Blaine save her this time?  Even if he can save her, will she want to be saved?
 Rosie’s 2 cents, or in this case 5 cents! 
I absolutely loved this book.  It had all the elements I need in a book to be perfect for me. Love, angst, phenomenal character description, with a healthy dose of WTF! I really got into Kami’s head and felt her pain and suffering.  Trust me there were plenty of time I wanted to reenact the scene from Moonstruck when Cher slaps Nicholas Cage in the face and yells “snap out of it Kami” Blaine is the absolute perfect book boyfriend.  Why oh why does he have to be fictitious!!!!!!! He is my new Book Boyfriend!  Don’t be jealous ;)  .  The supporting characters lend a fantastic element to the story and support the main character beautifully!  I would definitely recommend this book to a friend.  Hell I would even recommend this book to a stranger ;).  S.L. Jennings hasn’t let me down yet and I am VERY excited about this book as well as future projects.
Music plays an integral part of this book.  I have attached two song videos that are relevant.  Maybe you can listen along as you read my review.

5 Bright Shining Stars
Life may not be pretty, but it’s always beautiful.  We may only see the ugliness on the surface.  The shit that only the world chooses to notice.  But, if we dig deep, if we get to the heart of life, where there’s no pain or fear, where we can just be who we are and love freely without judgment, it’s really beautiful. – Fear of Falling
“It’s good to see you again roadrunner!”