~Ena’s My All-time Favorite Read Thoughts~
I once was a believer in wishful thinking. I thought if I told myself that I was ok enough times that I could actually start to believe it. That somehow, I would eventually morph into the perfect picture of normalcy. That I could be somewhat happy.
I was wrong.
I wasn’t ok.
Not even a little bit. – Fear of Falling
My heart is racing and my palms are sweaty. There are tears in my eyes that slowly trickle down my cheeks and onto the ground. My smile widens and grows from ear to ear and a snort slips through my laughter. My thighs are clenched from the tingly sensation that travels from my collarbone down to the tips of my toes. My anger rises until I want to scream at the top of my lungs for it to stop. I find myself losing my breath and having to pick my jaw up off the floor. I clenched my eyes shut because I am not sure if I am strong enough to finish. My heart slowly falls into a million pieces in my chest one by one not knowing if it will be whole again. I close my eyes and hope and pray for the pain, the fear, the guilt, the memories, and the past to just wash away and for the love, the promise, the hope, the laughter, the heated touches, and the future to put her back together one piece at a time and give her happiness.
That is everything I felt while reading Fear of Falling. To date the BEST read I have had the pleasure of reading. Syreeta blew my mind with this story and I will agree with Shanora, that this is her IT book! A bestseller is something I can see with this one. It has everything you would want in a story. Wonderful characters you can’t help but fall in love with, a strong and fulfilling storyline, humor, sadness, grief, anger, loathing, bitterness, heart break, angst, lust, love, and sex. A 5 star read wrapped in one beautiful cover for you to enjoy.
Blaine is swoon worthy to the bone. On the outside he looks like your typical messed up bad boy from his rocking good lucks down to his tattooed skin but Blaine is sexy and sweet. He has a heart of gold and knows exactly what he wants and where he is going in the world. He doesn’t give up easily and will fight until there is nothing left to fight for. He is strong and passionate and exactly what you want lying beside you every night in bed and everything you want to look at when you wake up in the morning. He is kind and gentle and loving and says all the right things.
“I’m so fucking proud of you, you know that?” he murmured, squeezing me to his body. “So fucking proud, Kam. I knew you could do it. I never doubted you for one minute.”
Kami is all kinds of messed up. In her world things are not shiny and pretty, things are ugly and nasty, mean, cold, terrifying and sad. Love for her doesn’t exist. She will never fall in love with anyone and everyone who falls in love with her she pushes away because she doesn’t want to feel. She wants to live her life empty, a lifeless soul that doesn’t have to worry about hurting again. Growing up for her was hell and she still lives with her fears every day and is okay with how she has decided to spend her life.
“This isn’t some illness I can just take medicine to get rid of, Dom. You of all people should know that. This. Is. Me. My situation isn’t fucked up. I’m fucked up. Completely, irrevocably, fucked up to my core.”
Blaine meet Kami……….
Kami meet Blaine………………….
Oh these 2 will drive you to drink. The passion and chemistry between them is beyond words and the pull they have on each other is something from out of this world. Their bodies, their minds, their souls are drawn to each other like a moth to a flame and you want so badly for them to come together as one and jump into a new life together, happy.
“I’m not looking through you, Kami,” I said only for her ears. I didn’t need an audience; I just needed her to hear me. “I’m looking into you. I’m standing here, wondering how the hell a girl so beautiful could hold so much sadness in her gorgeous green eyes. And I’m asking myself why I want – no – why I need to know what’s made her so sad. And what I can do to take away every ounce of that sadness. I need to know what it will take for you to let me in, so I can do just that.”
You also get to meet Kami’s roommates, Angel and Dominic, who have their own demons. Angel will make you laugh and cry. She loves Kami and only wants her to be happy. Dominic will pull at your heartstrings with his own troubled past. You can’t help but fall in love with him. He supports Kami and is the closest to understanding her fears.
This was us: A modern day, dysfunctional Three’s Company. A lesbian rocker, an insatiable man-whore and a notorious commitment-phobe, all under one roof. Of course, that was just the tip of the iceberg when it came to our laundry list of issues. And while we may have sounded more like a raunchy joke that begins with us walking into a bar, we had somehow become a family. – Fear of Falling
Oh and then there is CJ, Blaine’s cousin, who will brighten your world. One minute I am crying because of something gut wrenching that happened and then I am dying laughing because CJ makes his appearance and opens his mouth. He is fun loving and good natured and a hoot to be around. He is a little crazy but deep down has a heart of gold and only wants for everyone he cares about to be happy.
“Like I was saying,” CJ started, rolling his eyes at my lack of enthusiasm at whatever idiotic thought had popped into his shallow mind. “Wendy asked about you. You remember, Wendy from high school? With the big titties? Dude, I swear, I would motor boat the shit out of those double-Ds.”
However with any book that Syreeta brings me the past never stays in the past. Kami’s fears and demons will pop back into her life and turn her world upside down. Everything that she has fought for from the beginning will come crashing down around her and leave her empty once again. Old wounds will be ripped open and new wounds will be made. Your jaw will hit the floor and you will have every urge to scream, cuss, and throw everything within your reach. My anger has never been that strong as it was with this book. I felt my blood boiling and was seriously thinking murderous thoughts. I know right? It’s a book a work of fiction – although some of the book is based on actual events – but that’s what Syreeta does to you – she makes everything she puts on paper so real that you become one with the story; you put yourself inside the book and live it.
I can’t tell you what Syreeta did to me with Fear of Falling. She had me feel so many things at once that I was left powerless to the story. I was sucked in from the very beginning and still have not been fully released from this story. I craved more when it was done and found myself in book hangover hell. It was beautiful and dark and everything that makes a best seller.
What will happen with Blaine and Kami meet? Sparks will fly, hearts will pound, and questions will rise. Kami doesn’t feel, EVER, this is how she wants it, so why does Blaine cause her to feel things that she doesn’t understand and doesn’t want? For Blaine he is okay with his one night stands and meaningless sex but Kami is different she makes him feel, makes him feel things that scare him. Will Blaine embrace his feelings and go after what he wants? Will he stay by her side once her demons come out? Will Kami finally decide the leave her past in the past and start to feel again?
Kami’s demons had somehow become mine without me even knowing them. And I swore on my life that I would fight every one of them. I would fight for her. – Fear of Falling